Second Letter Home

Hello dear family,

I figure it is that time to write again and to let you know how I am doing. Thank you for all the messages and emails you sent. It was really good to hear from everyone.

Things are going well here and I am settled down into a routine. The actual volunteering is usually quite boring for me, but as is usually the case, my favorite moments and experiences have come in the time while I'm waiting around for the electricity to come back on, for the internet to work, for the bus, or for my friends at work to give me a project to do. It has taught me the value of living in the present moment and taking things one day at a time. I continue to try to learn Tamil. I know I won't get very far learning it in the three months that I am here, but it makes my friends here and the other locals so happy to know that a U.S.-American is interested to learn of their culture and traditions. It is the same with me wearing local Indian dress instead of jeans and a t-shirt. In my experience, everyone has respected and has been appreciative of me wearing the salwar kumeez, a scarf, flowers in my hair, and the red dot between my eyebrows. And let me tell ya, it isn't easy! Only now do I realize how much I took shorts for granted.

Everyone constantly told me about the differences I would encounter in daily living, the logistics, not using toilet paper (though it is still available here), taking bucket showers, eating with my right hand, the spicy food, bobbing my head, not to smile at men you don't know, etc. In my opinion and thus far in my time here, though they are to be prepared for, these have been the easiest things to adapt to. It is the differences in deeply instilled culture and communication that takes the most energy to mitigate. Concepts which we find so easy to understand can mean entirely different things here: what it means to be a friend, to be a guest, to work a full day, to be somewhere at a certain time, to be religious, to eat a certain way, to love, how to communicate appreciation, etc. It is things like this, trying to bridge the gap between our different ways of understanding, that is most exhausting, but also the most rewarding.

In addition, the heat just wears you down. It is usually manageable, for most places have high-powered fans, and my room has a small AC unit (thank heavens). But when the electricity goes out for short or long periods of time, then you must retreat into the shade or the innermost part of the house and try to move as little as possible.

Overall, all of these things are very challenging but thus far are worth it. I feel my soul stretching and learning. I always pray for and need extra strength and patience. And I really love my friends and host family here.

This weekend I am planning on taking a trip to an old ancient city on the coast, and then go to the nearest city with a LDS Branch, so that I can go to church at least once while I am here. Wish me luck and I will take pictures. I love you all and hope to see you soon! I've only been away for five weeks, but I feel like I have been gone for 6 months or something! Love, Sarah

Fast Forward

The time has come for me to go. People ask if I am afraid or nervous to go to India. I've heard many different ideas of what I should be afraid of, but I don't feel afraid. Although, I have a couple of things I'm trying to prepare for: the switch from a regimented meal plan to eating lots of rice, a paranoia of being pickpocketed, a worry that my relationship with individuals at the organization will be centered around transactions of money rather than friendship, and culture shock.

1) I have progressed a lot this past year in eating a healthy, balanced diet. I have also tried to consume a lot less carbs. Now when I eat a lot of them, I feel like dying. In addition, I have eaten A LOT of Indian food this week. I still love it, but boy, I feel so heavy and immobile afterwards.

2) In Italy I developed a crazy paranoia of being pickpocketed. Before leaving to go anywhere, whether it was leaving the place where I lived or exiting the bus, I always had to literally check my purse and pockets three times to make sure everything was accounted for. And I could have gone on checking; I had to will myself to believe everything was accounted for and to walk away.

3) Enough said.

4) Culture Shock


I've experienced it before, and everyone has. Yes, you too. If a person has experienced changing circumstances in life, whether it's moving from Arizona to Utah or breaking up with a longtime partner, one has experienced culture shock. It's the process your body and emotions go through to adapt to changing environments. But the thing is, if a person is experiencing culture shock when living in a different country, it means that he/she is doing something right. They're growing! They're adapting. And in order to do that, there has to be the sense of loss, or that feeling of being engulfed in the winds of change, in the waves of the unknown.

Each person has different symptoms of culture shock. One of mine is always homesickness and not wanting to leave my sense of place behind. It gets me every time. Leaving my abode in Salt Lake to live with my mom for a few days was difficult. I drove away thinking of all the moments I have lived through in Salt Lake. The bus routes I took. My favorite houses in my neighborhood. The corner of 9th and 9th. The beauty of Temple Square. My friends' house on Lake Street. Utah in the summer time. As you can tell, I very much believe in the power of place.

It is so interesting how moving, or change in general, causes one to reflect and grasp to be back in "how it was". I even started to miss the hard times I've experienced in Salt Lake. Walking up my hill, listening to Lost Stars by Adam Levine, and watching Pioneer Day fireworks below while holding back tears of emotional pain I was enduring at the time. Or strolling home from screenwriting class in the middle of the night along 500 South; the way I walked under the street lamps that glowed in the dark.

At times I am ashamed of my homesickness. And one would think that a person who tends to get homesick would not be so interested in traveling to and living in foreign places. But, it makes sense to me. I appreciate emotions. I try to experience every moment to its fullest, even moments of missing people or things. And I feel that I appreciate the significance of life changes.

I know that hard times and various challenges are ahead, in India and wherever I will be. But I don't feel afraid. I am thankful for that. After all, having fear is not a comfortable feeling. I'm excited for the opportunities. Some believe that before we were born, all of us shouted for joy at the thought of coming to earth and experiencing life. There have been times when I have wondered why anyone would do that with all the suffering and heartbreak that life brings. Now, as I look forward to something, maybe I understand. At least a bit.