Sights and Moments - July 20

--I was able to go to a Hindu Temple festival with Lakshmi. The temple is located right in our neighborhood, so it was an easy walk and trip. We also went with Sundhari, and her nephews Yugandra (Yugi for short) and Krishna.

Hundreds of people came, all with their vilakku candles and bowls of food to offer to the god Ayanar. They crowded around the temple sanctum and waited for the temple officiate to wake up Aiyanar and his two wives. But first the officiate and his helpers wash the deities with milk and ghee. And then the time of awakening comes and they ring loud bells. At this time, everyone puts their palms together and brings them up to their heads as a sign of prayer.

I have seen this all before, but on this occasion there were so many people I couldn't really see the activity. I mostly played rock, paper, scissors with Krishna and the other neighborhood boys. But there is always something special in seeing persons try to find God in their own way.

--I left the festival early because I was not feeling great. This, of course, meant that there was a long conversation-- well, an attempt at a conversation since I don't speak Tamil-- with Lakshmi.

Why are you going? Why do you not want to wait til the gods offer us food? Did you have a fever? She feels my head. No, you don't have a fever, why are you going? I'm coming with you. No, wait. Okay, I come with and make you dinner. You don't want dinner, why not? What's wrong with the food I make you?

Whew. Anyway, I was finally able to go. I went and took a nice shower. Then, despite telling Lakshmi not to make me dinner (I know she understood because I had someone translate, so there!), she brought me temple food AND made me dinner. I did not eat very much with my sensitive stomach and overall exhaustion. In addition and to be honest, sometimes I don't eat very much just to prove my point that when I say I have enough food, I mean it and no, don't bring me anymore. And don't give me that sad face either! ;) I'm tired of feeling guilty for not eating ten pounds of food every meal!

But then Lakshmi told me to sit by her on the couch. Because I care for her very much and we always give each other kisses, I did. This time she just dragged me in her arms, laid my head on her chest, and played with my hair for a few minutes. It was very touching to me, especially as I'm trying to decide over my dilemma mentioned in the previous post.


All of this happened last night. This morning, Sundhari told me Lakshmi cried because I did not eat dinner.

I sighed. I get burnt out sometimes from trying to be the perfect host daughter. Cultural differences hide my efforts. On the other hand, Lakshmi is probably tired of trying to be the perfect host mother, and thinks that I don't like her food.



*I would say priest, but, I don't know if that is a good comparison

Second Letter Home

Hello dear family,

I figure it is that time to write again and to let you know how I am doing. Thank you for all the messages and emails you sent. It was really good to hear from everyone.

Things are going well here and I am settled down into a routine. The actual volunteering is usually quite boring for me, but as is usually the case, my favorite moments and experiences have come in the time while I'm waiting around for the electricity to come back on, for the internet to work, for the bus, or for my friends at work to give me a project to do. It has taught me the value of living in the present moment and taking things one day at a time. I continue to try to learn Tamil. I know I won't get very far learning it in the three months that I am here, but it makes my friends here and the other locals so happy to know that a U.S.-American is interested to learn of their culture and traditions. It is the same with me wearing local Indian dress instead of jeans and a t-shirt. In my experience, everyone has respected and has been appreciative of me wearing the salwar kumeez, a scarf, flowers in my hair, and the red dot between my eyebrows. And let me tell ya, it isn't easy! Only now do I realize how much I took shorts for granted.

Everyone constantly told me about the differences I would encounter in daily living, the logistics, not using toilet paper (though it is still available here), taking bucket showers, eating with my right hand, the spicy food, bobbing my head, not to smile at men you don't know, etc. In my opinion and thus far in my time here, though they are to be prepared for, these have been the easiest things to adapt to. It is the differences in deeply instilled culture and communication that takes the most energy to mitigate. Concepts which we find so easy to understand can mean entirely different things here: what it means to be a friend, to be a guest, to work a full day, to be somewhere at a certain time, to be religious, to eat a certain way, to love, how to communicate appreciation, etc. It is things like this, trying to bridge the gap between our different ways of understanding, that is most exhausting, but also the most rewarding.

In addition, the heat just wears you down. It is usually manageable, for most places have high-powered fans, and my room has a small AC unit (thank heavens). But when the electricity goes out for short or long periods of time, then you must retreat into the shade or the innermost part of the house and try to move as little as possible.

Overall, all of these things are very challenging but thus far are worth it. I feel my soul stretching and learning. I always pray for and need extra strength and patience. And I really love my friends and host family here.

This weekend I am planning on taking a trip to an old ancient city on the coast, and then go to the nearest city with a LDS Branch, so that I can go to church at least once while I am here. Wish me luck and I will take pictures. I love you all and hope to see you soon! I've only been away for five weeks, but I feel like I have been gone for 6 months or something! Love, Sarah

Volunteering

It's Tuesday, my second day of volunteering. A few months ago when I asked the organization what I would be doing as a volunteer, they said they needed someone to help at their domestic violence shelter.

My heart sank. I was already going to India. I didn't want to add another level of intensity.

When I asked more about this domestic violence shelter, the organization never responded but merely said, "We'll talk more about the details when you get here." Despite that that may sound a bit sketchy, I felt okay about it. After all, I knew that people from other cultures aren't as direct and straight forward as Westerners.

Then, when I got here different persons at the organization kept telling me different things. One person said I would be writing a report for the organization. I frowned; I just got done working on (well, semi working on) a similar item with the job I left behind in Utah. Then another person told me I would be assisting in communicating with other Western organizations. I thought that sounded nice, but didn't really understand what that would entail. And finally, when I arrived yesterday morning, I was given an actual task: write a report for a survey they would be administering this coming week.

So that's what I have been doing. I think they are expecting a one pager or something, but I'm trying to write it very professionally to include not only a description of what the survey is, but its purpose, why it is needed, the social context behind it, how it is administered, why it is formatted in so many categories and sections, what it will be used for, etc.

The only drawback to this is that I don't know a lot of this information. With differences in communication, sometimes my questions aren't understood, or I don't understand others' responses. As I've mentioned above, I've learned a while ago that not all cultures speak or communicate as straightforward as Westerners do. But this is one of my first times experiencing it…. Well, that's not true, but it's the first time I've actually needed to sift through the conversations for specific information instead of just politely listening and not needing to see where the response is going. Now, I still listen of course -it's not like what is being said is meaningless- but I have to be extra alert and willing to listen for a while. In the middle of one's explanation or story, the information for which I originally asked will eventually pop up. If not, I've learned that listening to other people will give me clues which I can piece together to have a clear picture of the topic -in this case the survey.

Ta-daa!

Well, hopefully the result will be a positive, "Ta-daa!"

But, do I like doing this kind of reporting? I wish I were doing something else. Granted, this was only my second day so I'm not sure what else I'll be doing as a volunteer. But I hear the two other volunteers' stories of teaching kids English and having fun times with women in computer training class, and I get a bit envious. Plus, they get to go out to a village outside of Pondicherry.

However, staying at the office here also has its advantages. I absolutely love the people that work there. And as I'm doing my work I'll glance up from my computer to observe the activities of staff and other workers and join them in conversations. There are several of them, and all are so kind.

…another advantage is that there is the best mango tree behind the office…