I felt like I really honored the Sabbath on Sunday. That feeling of satisfaction came amidst the morning scripture study and letter-writing and continued after the evening of exploring Pondicherry and going to Pizza Hut with Stephane -- a "Sabbath breaker" for many. Perhaps the day still felt holy to me because I was living the day purposefully? Because it was a perfect mixture of individual stillness and then exploring and interacting with others? I'm not sure. Despite some frustrating encounters in town (well, Stephane was the one fuming, I mostly just thought it was funny) the evening ended up with a few events that completed the holy day, the holy day which to me has become a day for my sanctification and reflection after a week of work and labor.
Stephane and I separated after the rickshaw drive home. He walked his way to where he stays, and I walked my way. It was night (don't tell Ash or Dave) and the lamps of the occasional street stalls dimly lit the dirt road. I walked past the man who makes fresh juice for me, past the pawnbroker, and past the shop owner who always looks at me as if he's wondering why the hell this white girl is walking by his shop. Past this but before the corner with the "Euro Kids Pre-School" where I turn is a stretch of road which has been under construction. On this night, the massive gaping holes were all filled in, but the ground was now mostly under large puddles. To the left is a curb which people step up onto in order to walk past the construction mess.
In front of me, an elderly woman had permanently bent back that caused her to lean forward at a ninety degree angle. She was just staring at the curb. Then her eyes would shift to the big puddle in front of her. Her gaze followed a man who casually stepped up on the curb and walked down it. Then she looked at the curb again. She took a small step forward. Mind you that for her, a step is an inch or two.
It is in moments like these when I always suddenly feel the assurance that I'm right where God wants me, and when I know that He who notes the fall of a sparrow for sure notes the comings and goings of a white American girl and the struggles of an elderly sage, two of His daughters who come from opposite sides of the world. I stepped up behind her and offered my arm. She look up at me, grasped my hand, and tried to overcome the distance between her feet and the curb's surface. She tried once. Twice. And then stepped on up. I closely followed her as we edged along, preparing to drop everything in my hands in the case that I saw her wobble for an instant. We made it to the other side of the construction mess. We stepped down and I continued to walk by her side until the road became a bit smoother.
We then came to the "Euro Kids Preschool" corner where I had to turn. We looked at each other. She said, "Thank you. Thank you." Her voice was so sweet, and it cut me to the core. We each went our separate ways, but we kept looking back at each other until the corner of the pre-school cut off my view of her.
A simple walk on a curb. A ten second encounter. It left me weeping. I did not weep over my own kindness. I wept because I knew that kindness was the Savior's. I knew it was He who caused this woman's path and my path to meet. And I knew He for whatever reason thought me worthy enough to be His tool. I hope I am. I try so hard to be. I felt so humbled to be called to do something on His behalf.
I'm not sure how to "build the kingdom of God" anymore. Whenever I hear that phrase, I think of 100% visit teaching and doing missionary work…as in, visiting so many persons who haven't gone to church for three months or longer, or in inviting someone to read The Book of Mormon. But, what if girls don't want to be visit taught in the typical way of the 1950s? And what if people are happier not going to church because of whatever insecurities or pains they have from when they did go every Sunday? And what if me handing a Book of Mormon to someone isn't what they really need, but rather a hug and a listening voice? I wish I could feel comfortable doing those other things seen as typical ways of promoting the church. I guess so I can check them off a list and then feel good for "building the kingdom". Even now I ponder how God would have me represent Him and strengthen His presence on the earth. I try my hardest and always seek to magnify my calling.
But there is nothing like helping an old woman cross the street that makes me feel so close to God's Son. Nor like helping the Greek lady in Salt Lake take her groceries home on a snowy day. Nor like waving hi to all the kids here who look at me in wonder, even though I don't feel to deserve such attention.
After helping the old woman, I walked for a few more seconds. Two other women, one old and one young, with a little girl were walking in my direction. They saw me, and the young woman picked up her daughter and pointed me out to her. She directed the little girl to wave at me.
Again, I don't feel I deserve such attention, and least of all because I am white. But, I know it makes the parents happy. And so I stop and talk to the little girl and shake her hand. She just looked at me with her big brown eyes. The mother and grandmother laughed. They smiled so big.
Further on down the road, two men and a women were walking. As I got close, the woman smiled and held out her hand to me as she passed by. I held it for a few moments and smiled back to her. She just laughed. We let our grasp slip as we each continued walking our way.
When I left for India, one of my good friends, Ellesse, wrote me a note (in a card that makes me sound as if I'm dying!*). She told me this, "Keep your feet planted in the Gospel - don’t get weighted down by all the answers you can't answer yet - just keep looking for that joy that is there in the Gospel - in the face's of God's children." I saw that joy today in these various persons' faces. And it reminded me more of Christ than almost anything else.
*This is what the card's original writing says : May treasured memories bring you comfort & peace as we remember one dearly loved….
?!?! I will see you again Ellesse! Haha
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