Friday Day

Today was a good day. That is, after I left the office early. It was also one of those days that perfectly represents my indecision to return to Utah: work was boring and depressing. It left me grumpy and in a pissy mood afterwards, and I get annoyed with the kindest of acts by my friends. I hate that feeling. All the while, when I'm in that mood, I recognize it. I recognize I'm being grumpy, and yet can't stop it. So I just feel it out and try to be present to it. Beating myself up about it never makes me feel any better.

On the other hand, after work, I love India. I love riding on the bus. For some reason ascending into that sweaty mosh pit, being squished with Indian women with big smiles, always gives me joy. I love it. I took the bus to the old town, bought some gifts, and sat on the rocks by the seaside. Evenings in Pondicherry are wonderful.

I came home. Lalida and Perumal were back! I talked with them, and finally, at long last, was able to have a conversation with Lakshmi translated. Lakshmi was so excited about it and Lalida seemed really surprised at our intimate relationship. Ha, and at how often Lakshmi and I would hug each other and rub each others' backs.

Then I played badminton with Krishna, the neighbor kid. He's pretty cool and reminds me of my nephew Wesley a lot.

Again: work horrible, me wanting to gouge my eyes out. After work: great, me picking flowers and singing like a Disney princess.

Also, did I tell you that I'm like Sita's third child? She puts flowers in my hair everyday. She teaches me Tamil words. And she also scolds me when I do something wrong. When especially hot I always find myself raising the legs of my pants - just a little teensy bit! She'll slap my hand. "No!!" She shakes her head. I'll make a frowny face. She'll shake her head again. Another time I was playing with the bangles she gave me. Again, slap on the hand, "No! Glass!" The bangles are glass - stop playing with them or they'll break! Another time. I eat the entire berry she gave me (including the middle). My face gives away how horrible it tastes. Another head shake from her, "No!!" Don't eat the core, crazy!

I saw her at the bus stop today. I went up to her and gave her a hug. She then proceeded to give me loud kisses on my cheeks. Ha, this caused everyone around to look at us with curiosity. Why is that Indian kissing the white girl?! And then Sita helped me to cross the street.

I'm really going to miss everyone. I'm tired of missing people no matter where I live. Why can't we all just be together?